I think this video brings up many important points and issues that the discipline of positive psychology deals with. Burkeman talks a lot about the self-help industry and how that type of popular psychology often gets meshed in with positive psychology theories and ideas. I think Burkeman is taking a critical approach to self-help and positive psych and attempting to make more clear distinctions. I think he does a great job of explaining this distinction. It seemed as if he was associating many of the ideas from the self-help arena with more extreme narrow thinking. He talks about the popularity of advertising a "one" factor plan that will be the answer to happiness. I think that positive psychology examines the many factors and contributors to what can make people happier overall in a long term setting. Many self-help books claim that one thing will be the answer to a happier life, but Burkeman points out this type of thinking is unrealistic. I think this is an effective way pointing out the complexity in studying and understanding happiness. The formula for happiness is not exactly simple and there is still much more to be understood about how to effectively become happier on your own individual level. I strongly agree that is important to be critical and skeptical of what we hear and where we hear it and analyze and question what something or someone is trying to tell us. I think a major distinction between science and so-called pseudoscience is that science does not accept any absolute “truths” and it is constantly searching for a better answer or a better theory.
Watching this video allowed for a certain level of comfort to be achieved in the area of "self help."I can agree with Burkeman about the trend of self-help books, that it is largely a multimillion dollar industry that thrives on society's like America. If we are constantly trying to generate these "mental movies" in our minds, we will generate nothing but contradictions.
Burkeman touches upon the concept of quick fixes and how most people get caught up in the snowball effect idea. I am quite guilty of this concept. However what I have come to realize is that I end up depleting my resources. However I think there still is some truth behind the concept of snowballing, but I agree that we cannot become completely reliant upon this factor.
The defense mechanism that is largely put up against the self help books happens to me because I find it so convenient to read about how to be "happy." I mean why not really? The point that Burkeman brings up is that we need to remain critical when reading these things. Many people take those books to literally and I would be curious to see how a persons level of happiness increases/decreases as a result of these books.
If I were to take away one thing from this video is that we should not put all of our efforts into eliminating aspects but putting forth mindfulness and acceptance. Reject the extremes by understanding the hidden question/meaning. -Lauren Goudreau
I found this video brought up some important information about how to maintain a positive outlook on life. The first point I found useful is the idea that self help can backfire if not done correctly. It was said that if one focuses too much on the "mental movies", he or she can become self-concious about maintaining positive. The second point the speaker made regarding staying happy, was referring to the idea of "absolute transformation". We tend to overestimate the effects of making drastic changes in our lives. Like most things in our world, I think it is important to find a balance between finding a positive mind-state, yet still being realistic in our thoughts.
This guy is enmeshed in self-help culture just by commenting on it, he is one of them. Self-help culture to me is people who have overcome an obstacle or found some kind of success and want to share (or sell it to)other people. It is an oxymoron as these people have found their own path by following their own path. If you follow someone else's path you may not find what you are looking for.
Self-help is an industry and so aren't alot of licensed mental health workers. Some people with advanced degrees and letters after their names can actually damage people's lives while trying to help them. Point being self-help is fine, just take what you want from it and leave the rest, the same with science and professional helpers who may really be personally hurters or even worse, exploit their patients or what is now called "consumers".
With all the suffering in the world, with all the abuse and cruelty people inflict on other people and themselves, why not read a self help book, get Tony Robbins 10DVD box set and watch Oprah. If it helps just a little bit it is better than hurting alot. Nothing is perfect be it, self help gurus,LCSWs, psychiatrists, medication, meditation, religion, cults or anything else. One could say that scientifically trained helpers have sold out into a racket much like self-help by denying certain insurances or going into private practice in a city that has a pretty good sized population of people who are in need of services or are being treated by un-skilled novices who work in community service centers.
Ive thought about what he said involving positive thinking before i saw this. When you think of something, because of the schema you have used and practiced over and over again unconsciously through out your life, you automatically think of both positive and negative without trying. And like Burkeman said, I can see how someone can benefit from thinking positively if used correctly and not as the only thing making you happier.
Willpower as a depleteable resource is very interesting. I think there may be an effect that happens to people in this regard but it must be a person to person. If your willpower is weak then you will cave and not do things regardless of how many times you have used your willpower that day. If you have to fight with yourself to do anything then it will be a struggle all the way. Peoples minds are just unorganized and filled with overlapping priorities that make it hard to decide to do anything. It just depends on your preferences. If you like working out and doing school work then it will be easier for you to get up early and go to the gym or to make time to finish your work.
When he talks about the self being the problem with self help it made so much sense. All self help is is advice given by strangers who either want to make money or think that they could help. And i dont know about anyone else but i find that giving someone who isnt you advice is infinitely more easy than taking advice or following your own. Everything is easier said than done.
Self-help and other areas of popular psychology have become hugely prevalent in our culture. Americans strive to become better, richer, happier, which is completely reasonable. He mentioned how there is a cheesiness factor and an embarrassment about falling for this idea that a book has the answers to improve your life. I suppose it’s embarrassing because pop psych is a pseudoscience which is illogical. Our culture, for the most part, looks for the easy way out. Perhaps to really become happier you have to deeply change your attitude about your life. A book my help temporarily while the words are fresh in your mind but it’s not likely to stick unless you instill life changes or practice mindless meditation as he mentioned. Also he thinks readers expect a total transformation and a fresh start which is impossible. I also agree how if you become so obsessed with trying to be happy and think positively it has a contradictory effect or it doesn’t feel as genuine. It appears as though the best way to improve your happiness level is to take some time and reflect, step away from the daily stressors of life and relax. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself, the books may make it worse.
I thought this video was right on the money when he starts off with, "Change of thought, Change your life" concept. I think we stress ourselves out more analyzing everything we think about trying to make sure its positive rather than negative, and combating all our negative thoughts at the same time. The first class airline example was very funny and true. I believe his tips are warranted and helpful. When he talks about The mindfulness meditation, Not putting so much thought into your negative thoughts is a much lower maintenance and less stressful way of not focusing on changing your thoughts so much or trying to combat them. Writing down negative thoughts sounded like something that most people do already, which would be keeping a diary or journal and could possibly be a good method of getting the negativity out of your mind. The "cheesiness problem" was interesting because he used the gratitude writings method that he also uses and feels that it does work. I would say I am not sure I agree with the idea that some of the most cheesy things actually work. I myself find that even the ones that don't work tend to sound cheesy to me. What I liked most about this video was his last statement, at the end of his quote. "Be the best imperfect person you can be." I think this is the best thing I have ever heard. Sometimes I believe the biggest problem people have is they are always trying to find what is wrong with them rather than just accepting that some things are just part of who you are, or maybe there really isn't anything wrong with you, your just reading too many "self-help" books. haha Jacqueline Nizer
I like the speakers negativity towards self help books but isn't that what he has to offer.
I don't like his negativity towards will power. Will power starts weak but to quote a psychologist I almost completely disagree with (but on this subject) you can increase will power. "Do something hard everyday". In theory you can strengthen your own will power.
I don't like anecdotes for gaining happiness. I do think that different things work for different people. The gratitude journal method the speaker offered seemed a better approach than what we did in our intervention. To write something down when it happens or soon after would make you take immediate notice. It would also prevent you from forgetting certain things.
Burkeman's statements regarding the 'problem areas' of positive thinking are something I encountered a week or so ago. I've been maintaining my gratitude journal and trying my best to stay positive, which had been successful for the duration of the assignment. However, a few days ago I felt myself feeling less happy than I did a few weeks prior. Realizing I wasn't feeling as good perpetuated a string of negative thought processes. I was nearly convinced that a large portion of my happiness could be maintained by my conscious effort to stay positive. As it stopped working, I felt personally responsible for the unwanted feelings I experienced, and it ended up being more harmful than helpful. I think a problem with 'positive thinking' is the underlying assumption that a particular situation is 'bad' in the first place, and we have to re-train our mindsets to perceive it more positively. This is a little bit off topic, but I think if we somehow could prevent ourselves from experiencing a situation as 'bad' or negative, and equate all situations with the same level of desirability, perhaps it would be more helpful. This is just an 'on the whim' underdeveloped idea, but I thought I'd mention it.
I think I agree with what Burkeman says about focusing on things that 'pass under the radar.' I can see how this would be more helpful in the long run. Many of the situations or activities, as Burkeman suggested are absurd. I think that because they are laughable and absurd, a person involving themselves with such an activity would automatically approach it with a non-rigid, perfectionist mindset, which may eliminate the mental exhaustion and stress associated with taking on life changing goals and objectives.
I also agree with what Burkeman says regarding control, and trying to exert control within every aspect in our lives. I think that people who end up with self-help books that lead them towards this kind of thinking can wind up feeling overwhelmed and inadequate in their pursuit to feel happier. We all live very chaotic, involved, complex lives and experience situations that are unplanned. Naturally, I think those of us that haven't taken a positive psych course, and/or those of us who aren't particularly conscious of the way they respond to situations can find ourselves reacting in ways that are just as unplanned. Taking this into consideration, I think the best route to achieve increased levels of happiness in a general sense is to use all of the methods and ideas incorporated into positive psych that work well for us personally (positive thinking, volunteerism, spending time and money on others instead of ourselves etc), but utilize each method as if it were a stepping stone to a continuous journey towards happiness rather than the end-all be-all to a happy life. That being said, I think the key here is to do things in moderation.
I liked the points the speaker made, and I think it is so true that you can make yourself happier and achieve goals more realistically by starting out small and working your way up. Like he said, you have to step back from things you are avidly trying to achieve or change, such as cultivating more positive thoughts or getting fit, and you must start small instead of trying to change everything instantly. When you aren't so focused on perfecting something or trying to achieve a major goal with unrealistic expectations of yourself, you will get stressed out about it and discourage yourself. However, when you start with really small goals to eventually reach a bigger goal, it becomes much more manageable and realistic to achieve. Even if the results aren't noticeable at first, they will come with time.
I'm one of those people who often falls into the ego trap of thinking I do things better than everyone else. I'm not surprised, then, to feel that Burkeman's main points are things I've discovered for myself, ideas about happiness which I brought with me to the class.
It's interesting to contrast this video with the video about Bhutan. If über-short term goals and lightheartedness can work on the individual level, what aspects of that approach has Bhutan used in their tactics to achieve national happiness? Take the example of traditionalism, which Bhutan supports in various ways. It seems most likely that tradition is most effective as a way to focus attention outside the self. I won't explicate all the parallels here, but I hypothesize that they exist.
How could we apply these principles in a Western mindset? Interestingly, we are in an increasingly digital age, with shorter and shorter attention spans showing up in very young children. Are we supporting the development of very-short-term goals? I'd say yes, but we're also fostering self-centeredness, so perhaps the two happiness-tactics are working at odds with each other. Food for thought!
I agree with Burkeman's criticism against self help books. There are some people that will believe anything they read and those are the kinds of people who normally get those books. I also agree that thinking positively will only get you so far, some people think so positively that they convince themselves that they can acheive things that are clearly not realistic. These people set themselves up for failure I believe, and often get let down harder than those who didn't believe they could acheive such high things. I do think that if you first set smaller goals, you may acheive those larger ones, but if you start with that large goal there's a big chance of failure.
In this talk he brings up change your thoughts and change your life. You need to change the way your thinking and this will allow you to be happier. He talks about how if you try so hard to run mental movies in your mind then he states you can become so self conscious of how you are doing and he personally became a wreck instead of it helping.
I didn't think this video was all about putting down self-help books. I can understand to state that these books are not so helpful but I would rather hear more about what can make people happy than what people say in self-help books that may not help.
Complete fresh starts and ambitious goals is something else that he talks about. He mentions that we love the idea of this idea of being able to completely transform but we are not that good at it.
Overall I agree with him that many people will get discouraged if they believe and try to get happier so sudden and fast using self-help books which tend to not be so useful in my opinion.
Stepping back and trying to understand the problems that face you will help. To travel and to do new things are something that will help people stay happy and I agree with this as I am an avid traveler who gets away at least twice a year if not more for a week to nine days at a time! These trips totally help me bring new moments and new experiences into my life which allows for me and my boyfriend to stay happier than when we do the same old same old every day!
I myself have never read a self help book, but I do know people who have and that have succeeded in making the books work for them. Self help is all in the mind and motivation of the beholder. I have listened to people tell me that these books have really helped, but these are people who were already motivated and just needed some guidance to direct their energies into positive forms. Others, on the other hand, have informed me that they were nothing but a waste of money and an esteem killer. Whether either of these people are right or wrong is irrelevant. Self help books are designed to be a quick fix to usually life long, deep seeded problems that people cannot just solve over night by reading the criticisms of a distant author that they will never meet. In the self help industry it is hard to determine the authors who wrote the books because they are genuinely trying to help someone the way they may have helped themselves or others close to them, or if the author is just a person trying to make a quick dollar because they know there are so many troubled Americans out there who are willing to spend massive amounts of money to try and make themselves feel better about their menial lives. Burkeman, after reading all of those self help books still had only found himself "slightly" happier. I don't think people should try the self help approach unless they are already motivated internally, which in most cases is not true. People seek out these books to make them a better person, and show them how to do something better, but if you can't come up with these conclusions and ideas on your own, what makes you think you can sit down and read a book and everything will just fall into place? The answer is IT WON'T HAPPEN. The answers to your problems have to come from somewhere within, and what works for some people may not work for you, which brings up another issue of "if this self help book is rated so high and helps so many, but I don't get anything out of it then I really must have something wrong with me." This is just the opposite effect of what the book was trying to do in the first place and could potentially bring the reader down more.
Oliver Burkeman I found Oliver Burkeman’s approach to the subject to be rather cynical. What I felt most in his connection with the material is a strong level of envy of those writing and being successful in the field of self-help. I do agree with some of his points, specifically, those that dealt with mindful meditation, working with thoughts, and daily approaches to gratification. In the end, Burkeman has created a self-help book. However, the process in which facilitated his thinking that then resulted in a book, seems to escape him. I believe that most people come to the subject of self-help with at least some understanding that the material that the about to read, listen to, etc. will have to go through the person’s process thinking about and deciphering the information. Although there certainly will be on either side of the spectrum when it comes to their ability to critically think about such self-help material. Self-help is a process. Burkeman’s process may not be so different than the average person’s. I find his approach to be particularly condescending because he speaks as he is above most forms of self-help. In reality, as I have said before, I believe that his deep envy of such writers and speakers is quite palatable. He certainly does not come to the material to do anything less than what most authors are doing, which is to review various methods, feelings, data, beliefs, etc. and come up with a particular spin on the subject. Moreover, he looks to profit on the material just as his contemporaries. What I take from his talk is that he is not so different than other self-help writers. If I look past his condescending approach to the material there are important and interesting points/findings. However, I wonder if his approach is all that different than the approach most people have towards self-help. If the answer to that question is no, and if some people approach the subject with a naiveté, can’t we entertain the idea that this may be their personal and particular process in their personal growth/evolution? Thus, in my opinion, Burkeman comes to interesting findings through his personal deciphering of the information in the same way that most people do. However, he brings with him an elitist and condescending attitude that I believe makes his talk less impactful. ~Paul Bavineau
It's interesting to see the view point from someone who, while educated, is relatively ignorant of psychology. He talks about culturing positive thoughts and how many self help books are based on the idea that simply by change one's thoughts, they can change their life. This kind of thinking has been around for ages, so it was interesting to hear that for him thoughts alone didn't work. He brought up the idea of someone who is depressed, and how if they say those thoughts to themselves they could be bringing up negative emotions rather then positive ones.
It was cool to find out that what worked for the speaker were activities that brought conscious awareness and engagement, without continuously monitoring your emotions. I thought that it was interesting that pursuing random and new experiences worked well for couples and brought them closer together. I also really like the idea of simple goals, have small goals that can give you a sense of completing something.
I like the part where he talks about the concept of self help being a flawed because forgetting the self is the most important way to find life satisfaction. Our relationships with other people are probably the most influential factor in our lives. It only makes sense that improving these relationships would improve our life satisfaction. I also like the title “you’re poor because you want to be.” I believe that behavioral interventions can be successful in increasing life satisfaction, but maintaining the behavior is the difficult part. I think most people are aware of behaviors that would truly make them happier but they chose not to repeatedly practice them. Having the will power or motivation to carry through with those behaviors is probably what separates successful self-helpers from unsuccessful ones.
I like the part where he talks about the concept of self help being a flawed because forgetting the self is the most important way to find life satisfaction. Our relationships with other people are probably the most influential factor in our lives. It only makes sense that improving these relationships would improve our life satisfaction. I also like the title “you’re poor because you want to be.” I believe that behavioral interventions can be successful in increasing life satisfaction, but maintaining the behavior is the difficult part. I think most people are aware of behaviors that would truly make them happier but they chose not to repeatedly practice them. Having the will power or motivation to carry through with those behaviors is probably what separates successful self-helpers from unsuccessful ones.
18 comments:
I think this video brings up many important points and issues that the discipline of positive psychology deals with. Burkeman talks a lot about the self-help industry and how that type of popular psychology often gets meshed in with positive psychology theories and ideas. I think Burkeman is taking a critical approach to self-help and positive psych and attempting to make more clear distinctions.
I think he does a great job of explaining this distinction. It seemed as if he was associating many of the ideas from the self-help arena with more extreme narrow thinking. He talks about the popularity of advertising a "one" factor plan that will be the answer to happiness. I think that positive psychology examines the many factors and contributors to what can make people happier overall in a long term setting. Many self-help books claim that one thing will be the answer to a happier life, but Burkeman points out this type of thinking is unrealistic. I think this is an effective way pointing out the complexity in studying and understanding happiness. The formula for happiness is not exactly simple and there is still much more to be understood about how to effectively become happier on your own individual level.
I strongly agree that is important to be critical and skeptical of what we hear and where we hear it and analyze and question what something or someone is trying to tell us. I think a major distinction between science and so-called pseudoscience is that science does not accept any absolute “truths” and it is constantly searching for a better answer or a better theory.
Jessica Hews
Watching this video allowed for a certain level of comfort to be achieved in the area of "self help."I can agree with Burkeman about the trend of self-help books, that it is largely a multimillion dollar industry that thrives on society's like America. If we are constantly trying to generate these "mental movies" in our minds, we will generate nothing but contradictions.
Burkeman touches upon the concept of quick fixes and how most people get caught up in the snowball effect idea. I am quite guilty of this concept. However what I have come to realize is that I end up depleting my resources. However I think there still is some truth behind the concept of snowballing, but I agree that we cannot become completely reliant upon this factor.
The defense mechanism that is largely put up against the self help books happens to me because I find it so convenient to read about how to be "happy." I mean why not really? The point that Burkeman brings up is that we need to remain critical when reading these things. Many people take those books to literally and I would be curious to see how a persons level of happiness increases/decreases as a result of these books.
If I were to take away one thing from this video is that we should not put all of our efforts into eliminating aspects but putting forth mindfulness and acceptance. Reject the extremes by understanding the hidden question/meaning.
-Lauren Goudreau
I found this video brought up some important information about how to maintain a positive outlook on life. The first point I found useful is the idea that self help can backfire if not done correctly. It was said that if one focuses too much on the "mental movies", he or she can become self-concious about maintaining positive. The second point the speaker made regarding staying happy, was referring to the idea of "absolute transformation". We tend to overestimate the effects of making drastic changes in our lives.
Like most things in our world, I think it is important to find a balance between finding a positive mind-state, yet still being realistic in our thoughts.
Nick Randall
This guy is enmeshed in self-help culture just by commenting on it, he is one of them. Self-help culture to me is people who have overcome an obstacle or found some kind of success and want to share (or sell it to)other people. It is an oxymoron as these people have found their own path by following their own path. If you follow someone else's path you may not find what you are looking for.
Self-help is an industry and so aren't alot of licensed mental health workers. Some people with advanced degrees and letters after their names can actually damage people's lives while trying to help them. Point being self-help is fine, just take what you want from it and leave the rest, the same with science and professional helpers who may really be personally hurters or even worse, exploit their patients or what is now called "consumers".
With all the suffering in the world, with all the abuse and cruelty people inflict on other people and themselves, why not read a self help book, get Tony Robbins 10DVD box set and watch Oprah. If it helps just a little bit it is better than hurting alot. Nothing is perfect be it, self help gurus,LCSWs, psychiatrists, medication, meditation, religion, cults or anything else.
One could say that scientifically trained helpers have sold out into a racket much like self-help by denying certain insurances or going into private practice in a city that has a pretty good sized population of people who are in need of services or are being treated by un-skilled novices who work in community service centers.
Ive thought about what he said involving positive thinking before i saw this. When you think of something, because of the schema you have used and practiced over and over again unconsciously through out your life, you automatically think of both positive and negative without trying. And like Burkeman said, I can see how someone can benefit from thinking positively if used correctly and not as the only thing making you happier.
Willpower as a depleteable resource is very interesting. I think there may be an effect that happens to people in this regard but it must be a person to person. If your willpower is weak then you will cave and not do things regardless of how many times you have used your willpower that day. If you have to fight with yourself to do anything then it will be a struggle all the way. Peoples minds are just unorganized and filled with overlapping priorities that make it hard to decide to do anything. It just depends on your preferences. If you like working out and doing school work then it will be easier for you to get up early and go to the gym or to make time to finish your work.
When he talks about the self being the problem with self help it made so much sense. All self help is is advice given by strangers who either want to make money or think that they could help. And i dont know about anyone else but i find that giving someone who isnt you advice is infinitely more easy than taking advice or following your own. Everything is easier said than done.
-Brandon Dion
Self-help and other areas of popular psychology have become hugely prevalent in our culture. Americans strive to become better, richer, happier, which is completely reasonable. He mentioned how there is a cheesiness factor and an embarrassment about falling for this idea that a book has the answers to improve your life. I suppose it’s embarrassing because pop psych is a pseudoscience which is illogical.
Our culture, for the most part, looks for the easy way out. Perhaps to really become happier you have to deeply change your attitude about your life. A book my help temporarily while the words are fresh in your mind but it’s not likely to stick unless you instill life changes or practice mindless meditation as he mentioned. Also he thinks readers expect a total transformation and a fresh start which is impossible. I also agree how if you become so obsessed with trying to be happy and think positively it has a contradictory effect or it doesn’t feel as genuine. It appears as though the best way to improve your happiness level is to take some time and reflect, step away from the daily stressors of life and relax. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself, the books may make it worse.
Gina Marmanik
I thought this video was right on the money when he starts off with, "Change of thought, Change your life" concept. I think we stress ourselves out more analyzing everything we think about trying to make sure its positive rather than negative, and combating all our negative thoughts at the same time. The first class airline example was very funny and true.
I believe his tips are warranted and helpful. When he talks about The mindfulness meditation, Not putting so much thought into your negative thoughts is a much lower maintenance and less stressful way of not focusing on changing your thoughts so much or trying to combat them. Writing down negative thoughts sounded like something that most people do already, which would be keeping a diary or journal and could possibly be a good method of getting the negativity out of your mind.
The "cheesiness problem" was interesting because he used the gratitude writings method that he also uses and feels that it does work. I would say I am not sure I agree with the idea that some of the most cheesy things actually work. I myself find that even the ones that don't work tend to sound cheesy to me.
What I liked most about this video was his last statement, at the end of his quote. "Be the best imperfect person you can be." I think this is the best thing I have ever heard. Sometimes I believe the biggest problem people have is they are always trying to find what is wrong with them rather than just accepting that some things are just part of who you are, or maybe there really isn't anything wrong with you, your just reading too many "self-help" books. haha
Jacqueline Nizer
I like the speakers negativity towards self help books but isn't that what he has to offer.
I don't like his negativity towards will power. Will power starts weak but to quote a psychologist I almost completely disagree with (but on this subject) you can increase will power. "Do something hard everyday". In theory you can strengthen your own will power.
I don't like anecdotes for gaining happiness. I do think that different things work for different people. The gratitude journal method the speaker offered seemed a better approach than what we did in our intervention. To write something down when it happens or soon after would make you take immediate notice. It would also prevent you from forgetting certain things.
Jonathan Bellino
Burkeman's statements regarding the 'problem areas' of positive thinking are something I encountered a week or so ago. I've been maintaining my gratitude journal and trying my best to stay positive, which had been successful for the duration of the assignment. However, a few days ago I felt myself feeling less happy than I did a few weeks prior. Realizing I wasn't feeling as good perpetuated a string of negative thought processes. I was nearly convinced that a large portion of my happiness could be maintained by my conscious effort to stay positive. As it stopped working, I felt personally responsible for the unwanted feelings I experienced, and it ended up being more harmful than helpful. I think a problem with 'positive thinking' is the underlying assumption that a particular situation is 'bad' in the first place, and we have to re-train our mindsets to perceive it more positively. This is a little bit off topic, but I think if we somehow could prevent ourselves from experiencing a situation as 'bad' or negative, and equate all situations with the same level of desirability, perhaps it would be more helpful. This is just an 'on the whim' underdeveloped idea, but I thought I'd mention it.
I think I agree with what Burkeman says about focusing on things that 'pass under the radar.' I can see how this would be more helpful in the long run. Many of the situations or activities, as Burkeman suggested are absurd. I think that because they are laughable and absurd, a person involving themselves with such an activity would automatically approach it with a non-rigid, perfectionist mindset, which may eliminate the mental exhaustion and stress associated with taking on life changing goals and objectives.
I also agree with what Burkeman says regarding control, and trying to exert control within every aspect in our lives. I think that people who end up with self-help books that lead them towards this kind of thinking can wind up feeling overwhelmed and inadequate in their pursuit to feel happier. We all live very chaotic, involved, complex lives and experience situations that are unplanned. Naturally, I think those of us that haven't taken a positive psych course, and/or those of us who aren't particularly conscious of the way they respond to situations can find ourselves reacting in ways that are just as unplanned. Taking this into consideration, I think the best route to achieve increased levels of happiness in a general sense is to use all of the methods and ideas incorporated into positive psych that work well for us personally (positive thinking, volunteerism, spending time and money on others instead of ourselves etc), but utilize each method as if it were a stepping stone to a continuous journey towards happiness rather than the end-all be-all to a happy life. That being said, I think the key here is to do things in moderation.
-Bianca Sturchio
I liked the points the speaker made, and I think it is so true that you can make yourself happier and achieve goals more realistically by starting out small and working your way up. Like he said, you have to step back from things you are avidly trying to achieve or change, such as cultivating more positive thoughts or getting fit, and you must start small instead of trying to change everything instantly. When you aren't so focused on perfecting something or trying to achieve a major goal with unrealistic expectations of yourself, you will get stressed out about it and discourage yourself. However, when you start with really small goals to eventually reach a bigger goal, it becomes much more manageable and realistic to achieve. Even if the results aren't noticeable at first, they will come with time.
I'm one of those people who often falls into the ego trap of thinking I do things better than everyone else. I'm not surprised, then, to feel that Burkeman's main points are things I've discovered for myself, ideas about happiness which I brought with me to the class.
It's interesting to contrast this video with the video about Bhutan. If über-short term goals and lightheartedness can work on the individual level, what aspects of that approach has Bhutan used in their tactics to achieve national happiness? Take the example of traditionalism, which Bhutan supports in various ways. It seems most likely that tradition is most effective as a way to focus attention outside the self. I won't explicate all the parallels here, but I hypothesize that they exist.
How could we apply these principles in a Western mindset? Interestingly, we are in an increasingly digital age, with shorter and shorter attention spans showing up in very young children. Are we supporting the development of very-short-term goals? I'd say yes, but we're also fostering self-centeredness, so perhaps the two happiness-tactics are working at odds with each other. Food for thought!
I agree with Burkeman's criticism against self help books. There are some people that will believe anything they read and those are the kinds of people who normally get those books. I also agree that thinking positively will only get you so far, some people think so positively that they convince themselves that they can acheive things that are clearly not realistic. These people set themselves up for failure I believe, and often get let down harder than those who didn't believe they could acheive such high things. I do think that if you first set smaller goals, you may acheive those larger ones, but if you start with that large goal there's a big chance of failure.
-Chelsea Craig
In this talk he brings up change your thoughts and change your life. You need to change the way your thinking and this will allow you to be happier. He talks about how if you try so hard to run mental movies in your mind then he states you can become so self conscious of how you are doing and he personally became a wreck instead of it helping.
I didn't think this video was all about putting down self-help books. I can understand to state that these books are not so helpful but I would rather hear more about what can make people happy than what people say in self-help books that may not help.
Complete fresh starts and ambitious goals is something else that he talks about. He mentions that we love the idea of this idea of being able to completely transform but we are not that good at it.
Overall I agree with him that many people will get discouraged if they believe and try to get happier so sudden and fast using self-help books which tend to not be so useful in my opinion.
Stepping back and trying to understand the problems that face you will help. To travel and to do new things are something that will help people stay happy and I agree with this as I am an avid traveler who gets away at least twice a year if not more for a week to nine days at a time! These trips totally help me bring new moments and new experiences into my life which allows for me and my boyfriend to stay happier than when we do the same old same old every day!
I myself have never read a self help book, but I do know people who have and that have succeeded in making the books work for them. Self help is all in the mind and motivation of the beholder. I have listened to people tell me that these books have really helped, but these are people who were already motivated and just needed some guidance to direct their energies into positive forms. Others, on the other hand, have informed me that they were nothing but a waste of money and an esteem killer.
Whether either of these people are right or wrong is irrelevant. Self help books are designed to be a quick fix to usually life long, deep seeded problems that people cannot just solve over night by reading the criticisms of a distant author that they will never meet.
In the self help industry it is hard to determine the authors who wrote the books because they are genuinely trying to help someone the way they may have helped themselves or others close to them, or if the author is just a person trying to make a quick dollar because they know there are so many troubled Americans out there who are willing to spend massive amounts of money to try and make themselves feel better about their menial lives.
Burkeman, after reading all of those self help books still had only found himself "slightly" happier. I don't think people should try the self help approach unless they are already motivated internally, which in most cases is not true. People seek out these books to make them a better person, and show them how to do something better, but if you can't come up with these conclusions and ideas on your own, what makes you think you can sit down and read a book and everything will just fall into place? The answer is IT WON'T HAPPEN. The answers to your problems have to come from somewhere within, and what works for some people may not work for you, which brings up another issue of "if this self help book is rated so high and helps so many, but I don't get anything out of it then I really must have something wrong with me." This is just the opposite effect of what the book was trying to do in the first place and could potentially bring the reader down more.
-Christi Ledwith
Oliver Burkeman
I found Oliver Burkeman’s approach to the subject to be rather cynical. What I felt most in his connection with the material is a strong level of envy of those writing and being successful in the field of self-help. I do agree with some of his points, specifically, those that dealt with mindful meditation, working with thoughts, and daily approaches to gratification.
In the end, Burkeman has created a self-help book. However, the process in which facilitated his thinking that then resulted in a book, seems to escape him. I believe that most people come to the subject of self-help with at least some understanding that the material that the about to read, listen to, etc. will have to go through the person’s process thinking about and deciphering the information. Although there certainly will be on either side of the spectrum when it comes to their ability to critically think about such self-help material.
Self-help is a process. Burkeman’s process may not be so different than the average person’s. I find his approach to be particularly condescending because he speaks as he is above most forms of self-help. In reality, as I have said before, I believe that his deep envy of such writers and speakers is quite palatable. He certainly does not come to the material to do anything less than what most authors are doing, which is to review various methods, feelings, data, beliefs, etc. and come up with a particular spin on the subject. Moreover, he looks to profit on the material just as his contemporaries.
What I take from his talk is that he is not so different than other self-help writers. If I look past his condescending approach to the material there are important and interesting points/findings. However, I wonder if his approach is all that different than the approach most people have towards self-help. If the answer to that question is no, and if some people approach the subject with a naiveté, can’t we entertain the idea that this may be their personal and particular process in their personal growth/evolution? Thus, in my opinion, Burkeman comes to interesting findings through his personal deciphering of the information in the same way that most people do. However, he brings with him an elitist and condescending attitude that I believe makes his talk less impactful.
~Paul Bavineau
It's interesting to see the view point from someone who, while educated, is relatively ignorant of psychology. He talks about culturing positive thoughts and how many self help books are based on the idea that simply by change one's thoughts, they can change their life. This kind of thinking has been around for ages, so it was interesting to hear that for him thoughts alone didn't work. He brought up the idea of someone who is depressed, and how if they say those thoughts to themselves they could be bringing up negative emotions rather then positive ones.
It was cool to find out that what worked for the speaker were activities that brought conscious awareness and engagement, without continuously monitoring your emotions. I thought that it was interesting that pursuing random and new experiences worked well for couples and brought them closer together. I also really like the idea of simple goals, have small goals that can give you a sense of completing something.
I like the part where he talks about the concept of self help being a flawed because forgetting the self is the most important way to find life satisfaction. Our relationships with other people are probably the most influential factor in our lives. It only makes sense that improving these relationships would improve our life satisfaction.
I also like the title “you’re poor because you want to be.” I believe that behavioral interventions can be successful in increasing life satisfaction, but maintaining the behavior is the difficult part. I think most people are aware of behaviors that would truly make them happier but they chose not to repeatedly practice them. Having the will power or motivation to carry through with those behaviors is probably what separates successful self-helpers from unsuccessful ones.
Jesse Miller
I like the part where he talks about the concept of self help being a flawed because forgetting the self is the most important way to find life satisfaction. Our relationships with other people are probably the most influential factor in our lives. It only makes sense that improving these relationships would improve our life satisfaction.
I also like the title “you’re poor because you want to be.” I believe that behavioral interventions can be successful in increasing life satisfaction, but maintaining the behavior is the difficult part. I think most people are aware of behaviors that would truly make them happier but they chose not to repeatedly practice them. Having the will power or motivation to carry through with those behaviors is probably what separates successful self-helpers from unsuccessful ones.
Jesse Miller
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